In Memory of Vincent Valdespino

Tomorrow would have been my nephew’s 22nd birthday.  Instead, it has been just over four years since he passed away from  meningitis.  He died within 24 hours of symptoms being manifested.  As the medevac helicopter lifted off from the Greek island of Ios, headed toward Athens, Vincent was joking with his brothers on the ground.  However, he quickly fell into a coma as all of his organs shut down.  He was gone before the helicopter landed.

What was to have been a summer of fun with his older brothers, after graduating from high school, became the first real tragedy that our family has faced.  Sure, we had lost our grandparents, but they were all in their 70s, 80s and 90s when they passed away.  This was different.   And, because it happened so far from home, it was more difficult to accept.  We just kept thinking that Vincent was still on vacation, and soon he would return to start college. 

I can’t imagine what it must have been like for his two brothers, just 26 and 24 themselves.  They had to deal with the Greek government, making arrangements to have Vincent brought home.   And  there were all of the recriminations.  If only they had known what was wrong, if only they had done something sooner.   But of course, there was no way for them to know.  The symptoms of meningitis are the same as those of the flu-or a hangover.  By the time the advanced symptoms appear, it’s too late.

My sister also went through the “what ifs”.  However, Vincent’s pediatrician assured her that, even if Vincent had been home at the time, she wouldn’t have known that it was meningitis until it was too late. 

At Vincent’s memorial service, his many friends got up, one after another, and talked about what Vincent meant to them.  Some of the stories were poignant, many were funny, as was Vincent.  We learned about a side of V that we didn’t all know.  And everyone talked about how kind and caring Vincent was; how he was always helping someone out.   

Vincent wasn’t a tall person; he had a growth deficiency and was ecstatic the day he could say that he was as tall as me-5’3″.  Because of this, his ashes are ensconced on the top tier of the crematorium wall next to a tree.  His oldest brother chose the location because Vincent always wanted to be taller.  The tree is constantly decorated with monkeys, representing V’s propensity to climb anything that was within reach, and some things that weren’t.  And every year, on his birthday, his mother brings balloons and gifts to the cemetery to celebrate.  Vincent’s friends come  to visit with his parents and they reminisce about this extraordinary young man.

And back on the island of Ios, after V’s memorial service in Texas, his new friends climbed the tall hill that Vincent had planned to scale and they planted a flag, signed by them all, in remembrance of Vincent Valdespino.

Below is the obituary that his brother, Eddie, wrote for Vincent.  It captures V’s unique essence.  I’m sorry that you all didn’t have a chance to know him.  I’m sorry that I didn’t have a chance to know him better.

“Vincent James Valdespino died suddenly in Athens, Greece on July 19th 2006, just shy of his 18th birthday. Vincent, or Vinny as he was known to his friends, lived more of this life than most people do. From the time he was born until the moment that he died he was moving. Never one to sit still for an instant, he was always on the go, whether it was climbing a tree, cruising on his skateboard, jumping off cliffs or scaling a wall, he just couldn’t sit still. As a kid, V was an amazing soccer player with an uncanny natural talent. Even years after he gave up the game, when he couldn’t even remember all the rules, he ran circles around his brother David who has always been good and still plays regularly. That’s how easy it was for him. In high school, V’s interests turned towards skateboarding, role-playing, video games and hanging out with his friends. He would skate all over Austin, come home play video games and then stay up all night hanging out with his friends. There just weren’t enough hours in the day for him. Naturally charismatic, he was always able to bring a smile to the faces of both his friends and to the faculty of his school, which he charmed so well that he was able to get away with more than any high school kid has the right to. He had a brilliant mind, so brilliant in fact that he couldn’t be bothered with the mundane day to day busy work that was assigned to him in school. Vincent would rarely turn in homework or complete in-class assignments, yet would show up for the test and ace it without even breaking a sweat. At seventeen he was reading the philosophical works of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and explaining things about them to his older brother Eddie who has a degree in philosophy. Vinny found in these writings a passion for life that he could identify with. For Vincent, life wasn’t about going to school or getting a job to make money; it wasn’t about nice clothes or nice cars; it wasn’t about being popular or famous. For the V-man, life was about living. It was hanging with friends at Barton Springs, it was skating around Austin, it was all night role-playing sessions, it was parties, it was traveling Europe with his brothers. Vincent had an exuberance for life that shone through in everything he did. He was a special little kid that had grown into an amazing young man and he touched the lives of everyone that he came into contact with. He will always be missed.”